The Big Four Questions

  1. What is your stance on selective reduction/termination? And who do you feel owns the decision ?

  2. Where do you want to deliver a potential surrogate baby(ies)? 

    • Hospital, home, birthing center

    • ObGyn or Midwife

  3. What are the number of embryos you are willing to transfer?

    • How do you feel about carrying twins or triplets?

    • Awareness of the potential risks and life impacts on you and your family?

  4. How do you envision the relationship & communication before/during/after the journey?

    • How do you like to communicate? (Frequency and Method)?

  1. Why do you want to become a surrogate?  (What inspired you to give such an amazing gift to someone?)

  2. Do you want more children?

  3. How would you characterize your pregnancies?  

    • Any complications? (Experience any of the following symptoms: Preclampsia, GD, sciatic pain, mourning sickness, weight gain)

    • Any illnesses?

    • Bedrest?

    • Miscellaneous issues? (even significant emotional swings?)

    • Have you experienced miscarriages previously?

      • If yes – how many times?

    • Have you experienced failed transfers previously

      • If Yes – how many times?

    • Have you experienced abortion?

      • If Yes – why?

  4. Who is in your support network?

    • Is your Spouse supportive?

    • Children?

    • Family (Mother, Father, MIL, FIL, cousins, uncles, aunts, etc)

    • Friends?

    • Co-workers?

  5. Will your supporters actually be able to assist if you’re on bedrest?  (Pick up grocers, help with meal preparation, picking up children from activities, etc?)

  6. Who are the birthing personnel you want to work with?  And why?

    • ObGyn?

    • Doula?

    • CNM?

    • A mix of all of the above? (or only some)

  7. How do you feel about shots (injections)? For 10-13+ weeks

    • Who would help you with the injections?

  8. How would you like to discuss the pregnancy and journey?

    • Complete discretion on social media (e.g. no details on facebook, twitter or instagram)?

  9. What are your thoughts on compensation?

    • Base Comp. Please keep in mind the following additional expenses: Monthly Expense Account, Med Start Fee, Transfer Fee, Loss of Organ Fee, C-Section Fee, Lost Wages, Child Care, etc.

  1. What kind of lifestyle do you have?  (This question is regarding the GC’s overall health)

    • Do you work out and exercise?

    • Do you like to cook a lot ? (versus eating out a lot)

    • Eating organic?  Gluten Free?

  2. During pregnancy – would you/could you:

    • Play music for our baby?

    • Play voice recordings for our baby?

  3. What would your plan be if you were on bedrest for an extended period of time?

    • Who would be able to help you?   (Groceries, caring for the kids, etc?)

  4. Day care/child care? (This is helpful to understand costs and also to know what GC will do during travel for appts)

    • Are you kids in day care or child care?  

    • Who takes them to DC or CC?

    • If No Day Care or Child Care – what would be the plan when you’d have to travel for appointments to see the RE?  ObGyn? Labs?

Characteristics of Good Potential GCs

  1. Successful, uneventful pregnancies (morning sickness, gestational diabetes, sciatic pain, etc)

  2. Passes screening by our IVF Clinic

  3. Passes the background check (criminal)

  4. Passes the psychological evaluation

  5. Psychological evaluation would pass my own screening (interrogation)

  6. Psychologist “background” check would pass my own screening (Psychologist only passes surrogates that should be surrogates)

  7. Husband, family, friends would be supportive of surrogacy and comfortable with Gay IPs

  8. Initial meeting with GS would be a positive experience for all

  9. Stability! Stability! Stability!

  10. Healthy (Mentally, Emotionally, Physically) – good bmi, positive attitude and outlook in life, active, energetic, etc.